Today was quite a bad day. It seems like all I get these days are bad days. However, spending time with 10A04 numbs the pain. I love them to bits. They are really wonderful. I love singing with Charissa, sharing with Mabel, making Nadia and Hannah go bonkers, and poking fun at the rest of them. I've never mentioned it to them, but being with them makes me the happiest (other than being with God of course).
So I've passed everything but Economics so far and I really hope I pass IH and Literature. Gosh it seems like everything I do these days is fail. I'm failing in my studies, failing at football...like today for example, we had a match with a few of the football guys, and I played at left-back. And, I dunno whether it's because nobody comes to the left or whether I truly suck to the core but I hardly, hardly got the ball. "Ras, Ras!" Shaheer said. "Ask for the ball, if not you'll never get it." Ok I get it, but what if I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the ball once I get it? Then what's the use of me calling for it? I'm just so bad at this that I feel like quitting. But I know, Dad won't be happy about the loss he made there. What with the boots and all.
AND THEN THERE'S YOU. I'll never be good enough for you and I'll never be your priority. I'm slowly coming to terms with that.
AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER YOU. Keep him on a pedastal, justify all his wrongs and favour him more than you favour me and I'm sure you'll get hurt one day, mark my words.
And to tope it all off, Italy went out in the group stages. Yes, I'm still brooding over it.
God, it's been so difficult. You are the Mighty Comforter. Please calm my heart and my soul and continue to help me live according to Your will.
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